Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life...I dropped you off for your first day of kindergarten. My heart ached as I watched you walk slowly into your new classroom with a nervous look on your face. You starred at the ground and held extra tight to your daddy's hand as we walked down the hall. You didn't say much but I could tell by the look on your face the thoughts that you were thinking. Thoughts like "will I make a friend? Will I be accepted? Will I be loved? Will anyone notice I am even here? How will I make it without my mommy?"
Do you know how I know what you were thinking baby girl? Because your momma used to be just like you. I see myself in you in so many ways, especially our natural tendency to be shy and stay in our shell. I see the battle in your mind as you fight against the urge to stay hidden away in your room all day but deep down knowing God has so much more for you than to have only imaginary friends and dolls who don't talk back. You are right sweet girl. God put that desire to know and be known within you.
Because of the pain I experienced from being so shy that I missed many opportunities to meet new friends and go new places it took every bit of strength I have to send you off to school and let you conquer your fear of the unknown. As your momma who struggled with insecurities and wanting to stay in my shell I will fight for you. I will not let you stay hidden, refusing to take chances in this world. Yes, it will be scary but it will be so worth it.
Will you please do your momma a favor? Will you cling to God when you are scared? Will you say 2 Timothy 1:7 when you are scared? For God did not give you that spirit of fear or timidity, but he gave you POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND. Do not believe the lies of the enemy. You are chosen, you are valued, you are loved and most importantly, you are a daughter of the most high God.
I made many mistakes growing up and one of them was that I sat by and watched as life passed me by. I wouldn't try new things for fear of failure. I wouldn't say hello to a stranger for fear of rejection. Sweet Olivia, you may have your momma's introverted personality but you do not have to use that as an excuse to miss out on life and all the amazing things God has in store for you.
My prayer for you today is that as you embark on this journey in life that you will look up. Look up to the one who made you, look up at the people around you who God placed in your life for a specific reason. Choose to love and live freely. Today I break any strongholds that fear has over your life in the mighty name of Jesus.
I pray that if you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
Your #1 Cheerleader, Momma