What if I fail?

Failure...we all experience it and we all hate it.  Did you know polls have shown that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death?  The reason is simple, we get paralyzed by the fear of failure.

I have failed so many times in my life that if I wrote on every failure I have experienced I could have a blog post for the next year(and then some)!  The number one comment I hear from people when I encourage them to try something "outside of their shell" is "But what if I fail?".  

We have all felt the pain of failure.  In my past, if I tried something I just knew was going to be great and it totally bombed I made a vow to never try anything new again.  One area I was very successful in was not trying.  It was great for a while because I didn't experience any discomfort, embarrassment, nerves or people watching me as I tried.  But as time passed I began to notice that life was passing me by.  People all around me were getting promotions, making friends, growing in their relationship with the Lord, getting opportunities to go places and do amazing things.  I remember sharing with the Lord how I wanted those opportunities and His response was simple....then GO.  He reminded me of Moses and though he was nervous and felt completely incapable he WENT.  

Let's look fear in the face and see what is the worst possible outcome of trying something new and failing.  Here is what you will find:

1. Failure reveals your character.

As I began to try new things, though they were small things at first, I noticed how sour my attitude was when I failed.  The Lord used my failures to bring things to the surface that needed to be dealt with and refined. I would never trade all my failures for the kind of character that the Lord has developed in me from those failures.  I know this is not the news we want to hear right after we have failed(it's quite irritating, in fact) but it is so true.

Side note: be slow to "encourage" someone with this nugget or you might get sucker punched. :)  Often times God does His best work when we step back and let Him do His thing in other people's hearts and lives. 

2. Failure brings you back to the heart of God.

Have you ever noticed it's when "things" aren't lining up in our life that we really begin to pray and search God's word for answers?  I've found that I rarely get the answer I thought I was looking for but instead God shows me who I am in Him.  Until we find our identity in Him everything will appear to be a failure in our lives.

3. Failure makes you fly.

I remember when I was young I hated math.  I avoided it at all cost.  However, when I was in 8th grade I moved schools and the math classes there were even harder.  So hard that I was going to flunk if I didn't study.  So my genius older sister, Becky, began to tutor me everyday after school.  The result was that I got so good at math that when I went into high school I took many college courses and was able to clep out of math classes in college.  I even won medals at state on the Math team(yes I know, nerd alert)!  

The moral of the story?  God uses failures to help us dig deep and find something within us we didn't know existed.  If I had never failed at math I would have never discovered my untapped potential in that area.  God has done this with me in many areas of my life. :)

4. Failure is better than not trying.

At some point we have to decide that we would rather live life failing from time to time then to die with regrets of not trying those things God puts in front of us.  I have lived on both sides of the coin and I can promise you the pain of failure is dull in comparison to the pain of not trying!

Do you have an idea or a dream you want to pursue?  No matter how big or small that dream is God wants you to fly.  Just like a baby bird leaving the nest, you may fail first, but you will eventually fly.  

{Fit Friday} Freedom from Fear in Fitness

As I mentioned in this article, God has really been speaking to me about fitness. He has been asking me to allow Him into this area of my life more than I ever have before so He can bring freedom to me and many other women.

If you are anything like me when you think of the word "fitness" an image of a ripped bikini model comes to mind and I automatically dismiss myself from being fit.  With that mindset comes two extremes.  The first extreme is the myth that if we can't look like that bikini model, why even try to take care of ourselves?  With that comes laziness, poor hygiene, sickness and so much more. The other extreme "rises to the challenge" to look like the bikini model and says "I will do whatever it takes to look like that, even if it means sacrificing time, kids, health, money, etc".  The common factor in both extremes is that we are not honoring God with our bodies.

If you are like me you are also thinking "so is it wrong to aspire to have a ripped, lean body?"  When I asked God that question he gave me the illustration of a millionaire being interviewed on how he got wealthy.  If that millionaire takes all the credit for earning his wealth in his own power than he is blinded by pride. The same principle applies to our bodies. If we use God's principles to be healthy and look fit yet take the credit for it like we did it ourselves then we may be blinded by pride as well.

1 Corinithians 6:19-20 tell us "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

Romans 12:1 also says "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice-the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him."  

There is no arguing the fact that God desires for us to honor Him with our bodies, not ourselves. It sounds simple yet we make it so complex. So I began to ask God how to honor Him with my body and he brought me back to the verse in which this blog was founded upon, 2 Timothy 1:7.

"For God has not give you a spirit of fear or timidity, but power, love and a self discipline(or sound mind)." 
2 Timothy 1:7

According to this verse it is easy to determine if we are honoring ourselves or God with our bodies. Is there fear about the way we look present in our lives?  If so, we are more than likely seeking to honor ourselves and not God.  Is there timidity in moving forward in a healthy way of living by moving(exercise) or eating whole, healthy foods that bring life to our bodies?  God did not ever call us to live a life bound by fear or timidity.  God is calling me and I would like to ask all of you to join me.  He has birthed in my heart a challenge to allow His power, love and ability to have a sound mind into the area of fitness and wellness for me. Here is what that looks like:

Life Outside the Shell Wellness

 Here is the 3 parts of the wellness lifestyle:

1. POWER.
This element is the fitness component. When you think power in this area think of moving.  Step away from all the FAD workouts for a moment and ask God how he created YOU to move.  Do you enjoy running, walking, swimming, dancing, lifting weights, competing in races, rollerblading?  What is it that connects YOU to HIM?  Get moving not in your own power, but in the power He has put within you.  Pray before you exercise. Ask God to join you on your exercise.  If you can't find God in exercise than you may need to reevaluate if the activities you are participating in are from Him.

2. LOVE.
This is where we connect to God through reading His word and praying.  I don't care how many minutes you pray or how many chapters(or verses) you read.  Just connect to Him on some level.  This is an element of wellness that so many fitness professionals overlook and I am on a mission to bring it to life again.

3. SELF-DISCIPLINE(also translated SOUND MIND).
This involves us eating healthy, whole foods.  I am not interested in counting calories or weighing food here.  I want us to connect to the one who made us and ask Him what foods line up with our body.  Focus on eating whole, unprocessed foods. Pray before you meal plan and before you eat.  I believe the Lord is going to reveal lies we have believed in regards to food and our bodies.  Food is our friend and can be used to bring life into our bodies if we make wise food decisions.

Ask God if you have made an idol of food then allow him into that area of your life to bring freedom.

You can join the challenge on Facebook here and on Instagram by finding others doing the challenge with the hashtag #LOTSwellness.  You will see it as LOTS on Facebook as well and that stands for Life Outside the Shell :)

The Facebook group will not be a place to sell a product or service but instead will be used to post healthy recipes, fitness tips(and videos) and encouraging words from the Bible.  I hope you will join us!

The shocking results of my 24 hour iphone activity log!

One of my favorite things to do when I write is to be real.  I had a "step all over your toes" moment with God yesterday that I am so excited to share. Let me start by backing up to how it all got started.

Yesterday morning I was pouring out my heart to God.  Telling him all the reasons I didn't have enough time to do certain things in my life.  Some things I was sharing with him included "Lord, what was I thinking leading a family life group?  I don't have time for this!  God how will I ever find the time to teach these group fitness classes?  I just need to quit.  I can't juggle being a mom, business owner, church leader, blogger...oh that blog!  I haven't written in two weeks what was I thinking starting a blog?!  No one is reading it anyway, I should just quit."

You get the picture of my rant...God was so sweet to allow me to go through my dirty laundry with him before he began to gently speak to me.  After I was done and got quiet to listen to him, He began to show me some errors in my perspective.  He showed me that all the things I was saying I didn't have time for and that I just needed to quit doing were all the things HE called me to do.  I didn't once mention something crazy....like quit spending so much time on the computer or my phone. "Oh no God, please don't bring up the issue of my phone.  Anything but my phone!  I will fast, give up sugar, you name it...just not the phone!"  So, being the loving Father that He is, He asked me to keep a log for 24 hours of my iphone usage.

From 3pm on Monday to 3pm on Tuesday I kept a tally page for every time I got on my phone or was about to get on my phone.  I was shocked that within the first hour I had grabbed for my phone almost 10 times!!  My total number turned out to be 32 interactions my phone in 24 hours(and I was asleep and at work for part of that!)...WOW.  If you do the math and assume a minimum number of minutes on the phone each time was 2 minutes, I was on the phone texting, emailing, Facebooking, etc for over an hour in 24 hours.  That doesn't include other time I spent on the computer(I tracked that and it was a separate 1.5 hours on top of the other hour).

Truth be told, my numbers are a little lower than normal because every time I had to make a tally for grabbing my phone it made me stop and realize how ridiculous it was that I was on it again!

So why am I sharing this with you?  To challenge you to evaluate how you spend your time each day.  You may not be an iphone addict, like me, but maybe there is something that is eating away at your time everyday without you realizing it.

I love this quote because it gets to the heart of the matter on how we spend our time.  We spend it on things that really matter to us.  What matters to you?   I know I am very convicted to take a closer look at my life and the things I am spending my time on.  You can make more money but you can't make more time.  

Ask God to show you today any areas that are robbing your time.  I pray He gives you a fresh perspective on how HE wants you to spend your valuable time!

As for me, I will now be setting scheduled time to do computer work and leaving my phone in the other room as much as possible.  I am going to intentionally unplug so that I can focus on the things God has called me to.

{Marriage Monday} How the Influential Wife Defeats Goliath

In the first few years of marriage my husband and I really struggled with healthy communication.  I hated confrontation of any kind.  So much that one night when we were having a "discussion" around midnight(because that's the best time to discuss things) I actually kicked my husband in the shins in attempt to run away from a conversation. We can now laugh about that story and I have since learned how to communicate without kicking. :) From that experience, and many others, God has shed much light to me about our influence and role as a wife. 

Whether we realize it or not, God has given us a significant amount of influence on our husbands.  We get to choose, on a daily basis, if we will use that influence for God's glory or our own personal gain. 

Genesis 3:1 says “now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?”

From the beginning of time satan has come to the woman and had her question if what God said to her husband was true.  In Genesis 2:16 God told Adam to not eat from that tree even before Eve was created.

When we walked down the aisle and were joined together as one with our husband God anointed us and gave us influence over our husbands that no one else on this earth possesses. We must guard that influence like a treasure.

The Bible is full of examples of how women influenced for good or for evil. Some examples include Michal(who saved David's life), Abigail(saved Nabal's life), Queen Esther, Jezebel, Lot's wife and Delilah with Samson.

The Lord has anointed us as the wife to be influential to our husband.  A good wife is portrayed as a blessing, but a bad wife influences her husband for evil.

AS A WIFE WE HAVE 2 MAIN PLACES OF INFLUENCE:

1. THE FIELDS(poopy diapers, laundry)

Take at  look at 1 Samuel 16:10-12. 

David was tending his sheep when he was anointed as king and prepared for the battle to come. If David had tried to skip this phase he would have missed the call on his life.  Our “fields” look like changing poopy diapers, doing dishes, folding laundry while our husbands fields may look like work and career. The fields are where we are humbled and prepared for what is to come. Our attitude in the fields will determine our outcome in the battle.  

The fields are our place of prayer.

2. THE BATTLE

As we go through these seasons we have in life it’s important for us to remember that we are one with our husband. We don’t have our individual battles, his being work and ours being the kids, we battle together. 

That is a fundamental truth that we must ask God to help us truly embrace or we will always be fighting against each other rather than with each other.  Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  We must decide to stop fighting each other and instead fight the enemy.  

Have you ever felt like situations are "taunting" you and your family?  We have Modern day Goliaths in our lives and marriage. Those “Goliaths” taunt us asking “where is your God now?” 

3 LESSONS FROM DAVIDS BATTLE:

1. DAVID WAS COURAGEOUS

         

Something powerful happens when the holy spirit arises in us just as it did with David and says “are you going to stand by and let him/this mock your God?  Get up and fight, the battle has already been won.”

2. DAVID WAS CONFIDENT

Because he remembered the fields he was able to pick up the stones with confidence. Knowing that he had already been equipped for this battle. He remembered the battles the Lord gave him in the fields. We can win the battles with the 9 foot Goliath the exact same way we win the battles that happen in the fields where no one is watching…on our knees in prayer and with the word of God.

3. DAVID DECLARED that this battle belonged to the Lord

Let God fight your battles and receive the glory.Recognize your marriage is a spiritual union between spiritual beings. If this is true and you give your marriage to the Lord then it’s already won. If it’s not spiritual than why involve God?

We win our battles against the Goliaths in our lives just as David did...by picking up a stone.  God will show us which stone we need to pick up...the word of God, prayer, honor, biblical submission, love. Every stone he will ask us to use will be in the Word of God. Run to the word and you will find a stone to defeat the Goliaths in your marriage and family!

What Goliaths are taunting you and your family today?  The battle belongs to the Lord, let him knock out those Goliaths with a stone!

An InLinkz Link-up

{I hope you dance} A letter to my kindergartner

To my sweet Olivia Grace;

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life...I dropped you off for your first day of kindergarten.  My heart ached as I watched you walk slowly into your new classroom with a nervous look on your face. You starred at the ground and held extra tight to your daddy's hand as we walked down the hall. You didn't say much but I could tell by the look on your face the thoughts that you were thinking.  Thoughts like "will I make a friend?  Will I be accepted?  Will I be loved? Will anyone notice I am even here?  How will I make it without my mommy?"  

Do you know how I know what you were thinking baby girl?  Because your momma used to be just like you.  I see myself in you in so many ways, especially our natural tendency to be shy and stay in our shell.  I see the battle in your mind as you fight against the urge to stay hidden away in your room all day but deep down knowing God has so much more for you than to have only imaginary friends and dolls who don't talk back.  You are right sweet girl.  God put that desire to know and be known within you.  

Because of the pain I experienced from being so shy that I missed many opportunities to meet new friends and go new places it took every bit of strength I have to send you off to school and let you conquer your fear of the unknown.  As your momma who struggled with insecurities and wanting to stay in my shell I will fight for you.  I will not let you stay hidden, refusing to take chances in this world.  Yes, it will be scary but it will be so worth it.

Will you please do your momma a favor?  Will you cling to God when you are scared?  Will you say 2 Timothy 1:7 when you are scared?  For God did not give you that spirit of fear or timidity, but he gave you POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND.  Do not believe the lies of the enemy.  You are chosen, you are valued, you are loved and most importantly, you are a daughter of the most high God.  

I made many mistakes growing up and one of them was that I sat by and watched as life passed me by.  I wouldn't try new things for fear of failure.  I wouldn't say hello to a stranger for fear of rejection.  Sweet Olivia, you may have your momma's introverted personality but you do not have to use that as an excuse to miss out on life and all the amazing things God has in store for you.

My prayer for you today is that as you embark on this journey in life that you will look up.  Look up to the one who made you, look up at the people around you who God placed in your life for a specific reason.  Choose to love and live freely.  Today I break any strongholds that fear has over your life in the mighty name of Jesus.  

I pray that if you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

Love,

Your #1 Cheerleader, Momma

P.S. I pray whoever reads this will be encouraged today....don't let fear hold you back, just dance!

{Marriage Monday} 6 Essential Marriage Resources

You found Mr. or Mrs. Right, had a fairytale wedding, said I do and began your happily ever after. But what happens when the wedding ends?  This is the part of the story that most of us aren't equipped to handle. We go into marriage thinking all our needs will finally be met only to find out it is just the beginning of God stripping us of ourselves so we can become more like him.  My husband and I ran into many speed bumps in the beginning years of marriage and we were blessed to have some amazing resources to help show us the way.  For this weeks Marriage Monday post I want to share some that have helped us over the years.

1. The Bible

There are SO many great marriage resources but the number one resource we have to equip us for marriage is the best selling book, the Bible.  No matter where you read in the Bible we can learn so many life principles and allow the word of God to come alive within us which empowers us to act in ways we could never do in our own power.  

2. Marriage Today
I can't say enough good things about the resources at Marriage Today.  You can visit their site and order books, cds, dvds and so much more.  We were blessed to be introduced to this ministry early on in our marriage.  I highly recommend becoming a rock solid partner for $25/month and you will receive a new cd/dvd teaching every month.  Not to mention I love supporting a great ministry that is on a mission to keep the family together.

3.Mountaintop of Marriage: A Vision Retreat Guidebook  
This is another Marriage Today resource that I highly recommend. We try to do this once a year to hear God for the direction of our family.

4.The Power of a Praying Wife 
When Matt & I got married I never really thought about praying for him rather than nagging him.  This book helped me to learn that prayer is the number one thing we can do to partner with God in our marriage and help our spouse become the man God created him to be. This book is great place to start in prayer. As I connected to the Lord in prayer He has been able to lead me to pray over things specific to my husband.

A few years ago God put it on my heart to get a few of my friends together to pray over our husbands for 30 days.  I started a group called The Power of a Praying Wife: 30 Day Challenge and much to my surprise thousands of women have joined this challenge.  I love the accountability and surrounding myself with other like minded christian women.  You can read more about the story of how it got started here.

5.The Power of a Praying Husband 
Truth be told my husband read this book and prayed over me before I began to pray over him.  There is power in prayer! :)

6.The Blessed Marriage  
I can not say enough good things about all of the resources written by Pastor Robert Morris and his wife Debbie of Gateway Church.  This book is based on sound doctrine while being simple and easy to apply.

Two more books by Robert & Debbie Morris that I highly recommend are:
The Blessed Woman: Learning About Grace from the Women of the Bible and The Blessed Life: The Simple Secret of Achieving Guaranteed Financial Results. The Blessed Woman dissects the stories of the women of the Bible and lessons we can learn from them.  The Blessed Life uses sound doctrine to teach us how to manage money God's way, which is crucial for every marriage.

A great marriage doesn't just happen, we must work for it!  Having great resources is just one more way to strengthen our marriage and live a blessed life!

What are your favorite marriage resources?  Leave a comment or linkup here and share them with us!

An InLinkz Link-up

3 Truths about God in Exercise

Over the last 10 years of me being in the fitness industry and teaching group fitness classes I have always been taught, and taught others, to be mentally strong.  When the squats and lunges start to burn you just need to dig deeper, find your strength from within, and keep going.  But recently God has been shifting my perspective on that and I want to share with you a few things he is speaking to me.

Before I share those things I have to clarify that I am not saying we shouldn't be strong mentally because at least 90 percent of everything we accomplish begins in our mind.  I am a huge believer in the power of our thoughts.  However I think I may have been drawing my strength from the wrong place.  Allow me to explain with the following example:

I went for a run earlier this week.  I usually listen to fast music when I want to run fast and will listen to a christian workout track when I am running at a leisurely pace.  This particular day I had planned to see how fast I could run 3 miles but God asked me to listen to the christian music.  I agreed to do it and mentally decided I guess I just won't be running as fast because I usually draw my strength from the pace of the other music.  Something amazing happened that day....I ran faster than I ever have before because as I was listening to the christian music I stopped thinking about how tired I was, how my knees were aching or how thirsty I was.  Instead I was thinking about the words of the song "You're an over comer, you'll stay in the fight til the final round" and "where would I be without you?".  God spoke some things very clearly to me in that moment:

1. He is our source of strength.

God created us to be strong.  He is a strong God and we were created in His image. He did not create weaklings.  However, in order to tap into our strength we must first tap into Him.  If we use ourselves, and others around us, as our standard of measurement for strength we will be disappointed every time. You and I were not created the same so nothing good will every come from me measuring how strong I am against you, and vice versa.  We will be disappointed every time and will miss the strength God has given to us.  

2. He never intended for us to carry the burden of being physically fit.

Have you ever noticed how much shame and stress comes with the idea of being physically fit?  We either feel shame because of our lack of strength(in comparison to those around us) or we feel stress and pressure to maintain the strength that we achieved on our own.  Being physically fit is a blessing from God but it won't feel that way if we don't allow him in our journey.  If we do it on our own there are only two options: we either feel ashamed that we can't do more OR we feel prideful that we are able to achieve so much.  

3. God cares more about our heart than our six pack abs.

No, six pack abs aren't of the devil(believe me this momma would love to have some again after having 3 kiddos)!  However, the enemy can get us to focus so much on losing weight and looking exactly like the woman next to us(or on tv) that we forget to ask God what His best is for our body and life. God has called each of us to different things in life and we each will need different bodies and strengths to achieve that destiny.  Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit and we do need to take care of them but we must be sure to ask God what that looks like for us.  

As I was running and being powered by the words of those songs I have never felt the Holy Spirit so strong in my workout.  I am excited to see where God takes me as I let go of me and give EVERY area of my life to him.  Will you join me?

P.S. God is stirring my heart about combing my training in the fitness industry with my knowledge of His word which by starting a christian boot camp.  Will you pray with me about wisdom in moving forward in that in His timing?  I would love for it to be called "2 Timothy Training"....for God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity when it comes to being physically and spiritually fit!