{Marriage Monday} How the Influential Wife Defeats Goliath

In the first few years of marriage my husband and I really struggled with healthy communication.  I hated confrontation of any kind.  So much that one night when we were having a "discussion" around midnight(because that's the best time to discuss things) I actually kicked my husband in the shins in attempt to run away from a conversation. We can now laugh about that story and I have since learned how to communicate without kicking. :) From that experience, and many others, God has shed much light to me about our influence and role as a wife. 

Whether we realize it or not, God has given us a significant amount of influence on our husbands.  We get to choose, on a daily basis, if we will use that influence for God's glory or our own personal gain. 

Genesis 3:1 says “now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?”

From the beginning of time satan has come to the woman and had her question if what God said to her husband was true.  In Genesis 2:16 God told Adam to not eat from that tree even before Eve was created.

When we walked down the aisle and were joined together as one with our husband God anointed us and gave us influence over our husbands that no one else on this earth possesses. We must guard that influence like a treasure.

The Bible is full of examples of how women influenced for good or for evil. Some examples include Michal(who saved David's life), Abigail(saved Nabal's life), Queen Esther, Jezebel, Lot's wife and Delilah with Samson.

The Lord has anointed us as the wife to be influential to our husband.  A good wife is portrayed as a blessing, but a bad wife influences her husband for evil.

AS A WIFE WE HAVE 2 MAIN PLACES OF INFLUENCE:

1. THE FIELDS(poopy diapers, laundry)

Take at  look at 1 Samuel 16:10-12. 

David was tending his sheep when he was anointed as king and prepared for the battle to come. If David had tried to skip this phase he would have missed the call on his life.  Our “fields” look like changing poopy diapers, doing dishes, folding laundry while our husbands fields may look like work and career. The fields are where we are humbled and prepared for what is to come. Our attitude in the fields will determine our outcome in the battle.  

The fields are our place of prayer.

2. THE BATTLE

As we go through these seasons we have in life it’s important for us to remember that we are one with our husband. We don’t have our individual battles, his being work and ours being the kids, we battle together. 

That is a fundamental truth that we must ask God to help us truly embrace or we will always be fighting against each other rather than with each other.  Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  We must decide to stop fighting each other and instead fight the enemy.  

Have you ever felt like situations are "taunting" you and your family?  We have Modern day Goliaths in our lives and marriage. Those “Goliaths” taunt us asking “where is your God now?” 

3 LESSONS FROM DAVIDS BATTLE:

1. DAVID WAS COURAGEOUS

         

Something powerful happens when the holy spirit arises in us just as it did with David and says “are you going to stand by and let him/this mock your God?  Get up and fight, the battle has already been won.”

2. DAVID WAS CONFIDENT

Because he remembered the fields he was able to pick up the stones with confidence. Knowing that he had already been equipped for this battle. He remembered the battles the Lord gave him in the fields. We can win the battles with the 9 foot Goliath the exact same way we win the battles that happen in the fields where no one is watching…on our knees in prayer and with the word of God.

3. DAVID DECLARED that this battle belonged to the Lord

Let God fight your battles and receive the glory.Recognize your marriage is a spiritual union between spiritual beings. If this is true and you give your marriage to the Lord then it’s already won. If it’s not spiritual than why involve God?

We win our battles against the Goliaths in our lives just as David did...by picking up a stone.  God will show us which stone we need to pick up...the word of God, prayer, honor, biblical submission, love. Every stone he will ask us to use will be in the Word of God. Run to the word and you will find a stone to defeat the Goliaths in your marriage and family!

What Goliaths are taunting you and your family today?  The battle belongs to the Lord, let him knock out those Goliaths with a stone!

An InLinkz Link-up

{I hope you dance} A letter to my kindergartner

To my sweet Olivia Grace;

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life...I dropped you off for your first day of kindergarten.  My heart ached as I watched you walk slowly into your new classroom with a nervous look on your face. You starred at the ground and held extra tight to your daddy's hand as we walked down the hall. You didn't say much but I could tell by the look on your face the thoughts that you were thinking.  Thoughts like "will I make a friend?  Will I be accepted?  Will I be loved? Will anyone notice I am even here?  How will I make it without my mommy?"  

Do you know how I know what you were thinking baby girl?  Because your momma used to be just like you.  I see myself in you in so many ways, especially our natural tendency to be shy and stay in our shell.  I see the battle in your mind as you fight against the urge to stay hidden away in your room all day but deep down knowing God has so much more for you than to have only imaginary friends and dolls who don't talk back.  You are right sweet girl.  God put that desire to know and be known within you.  

Because of the pain I experienced from being so shy that I missed many opportunities to meet new friends and go new places it took every bit of strength I have to send you off to school and let you conquer your fear of the unknown.  As your momma who struggled with insecurities and wanting to stay in my shell I will fight for you.  I will not let you stay hidden, refusing to take chances in this world.  Yes, it will be scary but it will be so worth it.

Will you please do your momma a favor?  Will you cling to God when you are scared?  Will you say 2 Timothy 1:7 when you are scared?  For God did not give you that spirit of fear or timidity, but he gave you POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND.  Do not believe the lies of the enemy.  You are chosen, you are valued, you are loved and most importantly, you are a daughter of the most high God.  

I made many mistakes growing up and one of them was that I sat by and watched as life passed me by.  I wouldn't try new things for fear of failure.  I wouldn't say hello to a stranger for fear of rejection.  Sweet Olivia, you may have your momma's introverted personality but you do not have to use that as an excuse to miss out on life and all the amazing things God has in store for you.

My prayer for you today is that as you embark on this journey in life that you will look up.  Look up to the one who made you, look up at the people around you who God placed in your life for a specific reason.  Choose to love and live freely.  Today I break any strongholds that fear has over your life in the mighty name of Jesus.  

I pray that if you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

Love,

Your #1 Cheerleader, Momma

P.S. I pray whoever reads this will be encouraged today....don't let fear hold you back, just dance!

{Marriage Monday} 6 Essential Marriage Resources

You found Mr. or Mrs. Right, had a fairytale wedding, said I do and began your happily ever after. But what happens when the wedding ends?  This is the part of the story that most of us aren't equipped to handle. We go into marriage thinking all our needs will finally be met only to find out it is just the beginning of God stripping us of ourselves so we can become more like him.  My husband and I ran into many speed bumps in the beginning years of marriage and we were blessed to have some amazing resources to help show us the way.  For this weeks Marriage Monday post I want to share some that have helped us over the years.

1. The Bible

There are SO many great marriage resources but the number one resource we have to equip us for marriage is the best selling book, the Bible.  No matter where you read in the Bible we can learn so many life principles and allow the word of God to come alive within us which empowers us to act in ways we could never do in our own power.  

2. Marriage Today
I can't say enough good things about the resources at Marriage Today.  You can visit their site and order books, cds, dvds and so much more.  We were blessed to be introduced to this ministry early on in our marriage.  I highly recommend becoming a rock solid partner for $25/month and you will receive a new cd/dvd teaching every month.  Not to mention I love supporting a great ministry that is on a mission to keep the family together.

3.Mountaintop of Marriage: A Vision Retreat Guidebook  
This is another Marriage Today resource that I highly recommend. We try to do this once a year to hear God for the direction of our family.

4.The Power of a Praying Wife 
When Matt & I got married I never really thought about praying for him rather than nagging him.  This book helped me to learn that prayer is the number one thing we can do to partner with God in our marriage and help our spouse become the man God created him to be. This book is great place to start in prayer. As I connected to the Lord in prayer He has been able to lead me to pray over things specific to my husband.

A few years ago God put it on my heart to get a few of my friends together to pray over our husbands for 30 days.  I started a group called The Power of a Praying Wife: 30 Day Challenge and much to my surprise thousands of women have joined this challenge.  I love the accountability and surrounding myself with other like minded christian women.  You can read more about the story of how it got started here.

5.The Power of a Praying Husband 
Truth be told my husband read this book and prayed over me before I began to pray over him.  There is power in prayer! :)

6.The Blessed Marriage  
I can not say enough good things about all of the resources written by Pastor Robert Morris and his wife Debbie of Gateway Church.  This book is based on sound doctrine while being simple and easy to apply.

Two more books by Robert & Debbie Morris that I highly recommend are:
The Blessed Woman: Learning About Grace from the Women of the Bible and The Blessed Life: The Simple Secret of Achieving Guaranteed Financial Results. The Blessed Woman dissects the stories of the women of the Bible and lessons we can learn from them.  The Blessed Life uses sound doctrine to teach us how to manage money God's way, which is crucial for every marriage.

A great marriage doesn't just happen, we must work for it!  Having great resources is just one more way to strengthen our marriage and live a blessed life!

What are your favorite marriage resources?  Leave a comment or linkup here and share them with us!

An InLinkz Link-up

3 Truths about God in Exercise

Over the last 10 years of me being in the fitness industry and teaching group fitness classes I have always been taught, and taught others, to be mentally strong.  When the squats and lunges start to burn you just need to dig deeper, find your strength from within, and keep going.  But recently God has been shifting my perspective on that and I want to share with you a few things he is speaking to me.

Before I share those things I have to clarify that I am not saying we shouldn't be strong mentally because at least 90 percent of everything we accomplish begins in our mind.  I am a huge believer in the power of our thoughts.  However I think I may have been drawing my strength from the wrong place.  Allow me to explain with the following example:

I went for a run earlier this week.  I usually listen to fast music when I want to run fast and will listen to a christian workout track when I am running at a leisurely pace.  This particular day I had planned to see how fast I could run 3 miles but God asked me to listen to the christian music.  I agreed to do it and mentally decided I guess I just won't be running as fast because I usually draw my strength from the pace of the other music.  Something amazing happened that day....I ran faster than I ever have before because as I was listening to the christian music I stopped thinking about how tired I was, how my knees were aching or how thirsty I was.  Instead I was thinking about the words of the song "You're an over comer, you'll stay in the fight til the final round" and "where would I be without you?".  God spoke some things very clearly to me in that moment:

1. He is our source of strength.

God created us to be strong.  He is a strong God and we were created in His image. He did not create weaklings.  However, in order to tap into our strength we must first tap into Him.  If we use ourselves, and others around us, as our standard of measurement for strength we will be disappointed every time. You and I were not created the same so nothing good will every come from me measuring how strong I am against you, and vice versa.  We will be disappointed every time and will miss the strength God has given to us.  

2. He never intended for us to carry the burden of being physically fit.

Have you ever noticed how much shame and stress comes with the idea of being physically fit?  We either feel shame because of our lack of strength(in comparison to those around us) or we feel stress and pressure to maintain the strength that we achieved on our own.  Being physically fit is a blessing from God but it won't feel that way if we don't allow him in our journey.  If we do it on our own there are only two options: we either feel ashamed that we can't do more OR we feel prideful that we are able to achieve so much.  

3. God cares more about our heart than our six pack abs.

No, six pack abs aren't of the devil(believe me this momma would love to have some again after having 3 kiddos)!  However, the enemy can get us to focus so much on losing weight and looking exactly like the woman next to us(or on tv) that we forget to ask God what His best is for our body and life. God has called each of us to different things in life and we each will need different bodies and strengths to achieve that destiny.  Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit and we do need to take care of them but we must be sure to ask God what that looks like for us.  

As I was running and being powered by the words of those songs I have never felt the Holy Spirit so strong in my workout.  I am excited to see where God takes me as I let go of me and give EVERY area of my life to him.  Will you join me?

P.S. God is stirring my heart about combing my training in the fitness industry with my knowledge of His word which by starting a christian boot camp.  Will you pray with me about wisdom in moving forward in that in His timing?  I would love for it to be called "2 Timothy Training"....for God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity when it comes to being physically and spiritually fit!

Marriage Monday

 I had just turned 21 two weeks before my husband and I got married.  All the stars had aligned and we knew God had brought us together. With stars in our eyes and an extra pep in our step we just knew we were about to live a life time of wedded bliss.  We had the most beautiful and peaceful wedding ceremony but it didn't take long for us to realize that the only things we had in common were our love for God, working out and cookies & cream ice cream.  Luckily for us we both loved God and that is the one thing that has held us together 9 years later.

By the grace of God we found Marriage Today ministries and started attending Gateway Church and God began to bring healing and restoration that only He can bring.  My heart hurts to think of where we might be if we hadn't asked God to intervene.  Because of our story we have a passion for marriages to not only survive but to thrive.  

In my years of learning how to be a wife God taught me to honor my husband with my words. I started doing this in private just to him then God put it on my heart to honor him publicly. A few months ago God gave me the idea to start a #marriagemonday on Facebook and much to my surprise several of my friends started doing it.  I have had several people send me private messages letting me know how much God is doing in their marriage simply by them honoring their spouse.  

God put it on my heart about a month ago to start a blog linkup for Marriage Monday but I have argued.  Some of my arguments were that no one will do it, we will appear to be "bragging" and I don't even know how to host a linkup!  While God didn't argue back he did make me increasingly more aware of how desperately our world needs to have Godly values put back into his original design for marriage.  My hearts desire is that marriage is looked at as something beautiful that God loves rather than something that looks like a prison cell.  

While I recognized the need for this to be something so much bigger than my Facebook friends I still wasn't convinced that I should be the one to start it(yes, me, the life outside the shell girl...I struggle too!).  BUT then I attend The Declare Conference and God spoke to me in a way that was so clear. I could write a book on everything God taught me at the conference but the main thing God spoke to me was "It is not about you. Get over yourself, step out in wild obedience and have a kingdom perspective."  Without a kingdom perspective we will NEVER do anything that puts us in a position of looking stupid or being vulnerable.  It is only when I rely completely on God that I can move forward without hesitating and be all he has called me to be.  

Marriage Monday is a way for us to honor our spouse and God by speaking life over our spouse rather than complaining about everything that is wrong.

How to participate in Marriage Monday:

1. Post a picture on instagram with #marriagemonday

No need to be a blogger for this one!  Put at least one word(or more) stating why you are thankful for your spouse.  Let's make #marriagemonday bigger than #mcm(man crush monday)! :)

2. Post a status update on Facebook honoring your spouse.

Again make sure you put #marriagemonday!

3. Share the #marriagemonday vision with your friends. 

My heart behind Marriage Monday is not to exclude the singles but instead to highlight the value of marriage. 

4. Honor your spouse in private.

Even if you don't participate in any of the social media outlets the effort of focusing at least one day a week on our spouses positive attributes will change our attitude in marriage.  

 5. Linkup to this post(and future Marriage Monday posts) with a blog post about your marriage story, a marriage resource you love, pictures of you and your spouse, or anything pertaining to marriage that will encourage others! If you are single feel free to linkup a post about what God is speaking to you in this season!

An InLinkz Link-up

5 Baby Steps to Overcome Fear

I will never forget the first time I stepped outside my comfort zone and prepared to teach 5 minutes of a group fitness class.  I had practiced my notes, rehearsed so much I knew all two moves I was going to do in my sleep, picked out the perfect royal blue shirt and put just the right amount of make-up on to look cute but not overdressed.  As the days lead up to my "big day" I began to lose my appetite and the day of the class anything I did eat came right on back out.  With sweaty palms, a shaky voice and eyes starring at the ground I began to teach 5 minutes of an hour class.  The result?  I failed miserably.  But the craziest part was that it sparked something in me to try it again.  You see, you don't actually fail until you just quit trying.

These days I no longer lose appetite when preparing to teach, I have confidence, I can make eye contact with my class and I rarely have a mess up.  Many people have asked me how I got from point A(terrified) to point B(walking in confidence in my calling).  Here are some baby steps I have taken over the years that have resulted in huge changes in my confidence and my ability to stick my head out of my shell and try new things.

1. Know who we are in the Lord. 
I have learned that when we try new things and take risks if we do it in our own power we will fail miserably. If I don't know that I am first and foremost a daughter of the most high God than I will always be too self-conscious to move forward. I know that even if I fail miserably at something that my relationship with God is unwavering and that brings such peace that only He can bring.

2. Hear from God.
I am a big fan of stepping outside of our comfort zone but not before we first consult with God. You can read my thoughts on using our shell as our place of refuge and strength here.  If we all decided to just follow our friends on what "outside the shell" is than we completely miss the call God has on our lives.  We must hear God for ourselves so we can remember that word when fear tries to creep in.  We hear from God just like we would if we wanted to talk with a friend, by spending time with Him. Get to know Him in his written word and fellowship(or hang out) with Him through praise and prayer.

3. Look fear in the face.
Many years ago I heard someone say "look fear in the face and imagine the worst possible outcome".  Now this may sound crazy but when we bring darkness into the light the darkness flees.  It also gives us the opportunity to look at the thing we most fear and recognize that if that worst thing does happen we will live to tell the story and be stronger for it.  It's true, what doesn't kill you does make you stronger. :)

4. Do it scared.
After we discover our true identity, hear from the Lord and have looked fear in the face we just have to do it.  Here is one of my favorite quotes that I had on my bathroom mirror for years.

5. Speak the Word of God.
Last, but certainly not least, speak the word of God before, during and after your outside the shell moment. The word of God is alive and active and sharper than any double-edged sword(Hebrews 4:12).  Find a scripture on fear that really speaks to you(there are 365 in the Bible...one for every day of the year!) and know it inside and out.  My scripture, the one which this blog was founded on, is 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but power, love and self-discipline".  I love speaking that one out loud and aligning my thoughts and words with Gods. We have the power of life and death in our tongue and we must choose life.

I would love to hear what your favorite verse is and how you use it to overcome obstacles!

Remember, every journey starts with one step...take a step of faith today!

Healthified Monster Cookies

Before I share this recipe I have to warn you that I am not a "foodie" blogger. If I were this picture would be on a beautiful glass plate, with a glass of milk next to it and some fresh flowers in the distance.  Let's be real, I'm a stay at home mom and business owner whose only camera is an iPhone. :)

My husband had mentioned a few nights ago that I never make cookies anymore so I decided to surprise him with some today.  However, when I pulled out the recipe I knew I had to give it a total makeover because that's just what I do with not so healthy recipes.  I posted the picture of these on Facebook and had so many friends ask for the recipe that I decided to just write a post about it so it is all in one place.  

You will also notice that I called them "healthified"(yes I made up that word) instead of "healthy" because while they are better than normal they do still have some ingredients in them that aren't the best for you.  I do make some Chocolate Chip Almond Flour cookies that are 100% healthy but I have to say they aren't as good as these(big surprise).  

Enough talk, here is the recipe!

Ingredients:

• 3 eggs(I used organic, free range)
• 1 cup light brown sugar(I may try to sub coconut sugar for this one next time) 
• 1 cup Organic Coconut Sugar (this stuff is amazing! I bought my huge bag at Costco)
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 12 ounces of almond butter(or organic peanut butter if you don't like the taste of almond butter)
• 1 stick organic butter(I used Ghee which is clarified butter and Paleo friendly)
• 1/2 cup multi-colored chocolate candies(I had M&Ms on hand but I usually use the Unjunked brand which is free of dyes and artificial flavors. I buy mine at Target)
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips (I use the Enjoy Life brand also bought at Target...gluten, dairy, soy free)
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 4 1/2 cups oatmeal(I used gluten free but you can use anything other than instant)

Directions:

• Preheat over to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.
• Combine eggs and sugars, mix.
• Add salt, vanilla, almond(or peanut) butter, and butter. Mix well.
• Stir in chocolate candies, chocolate chips, baking soda and oatmeal.
• Drop by tablespoons on cookie sheets
• Bake 8-10 minutes

**Please note: This made 3 dozen cookies so if you don't have someone to share them with I recommend cutting the measurements in half! :)

You may notice these still have a ton of fat and calories in them but they are free of artificial junk and are a great snack for kids.  Next time I plan to add milled flax seed to mine because it doesn't affect the taste and adds fiber and omegas for the kids.  

We seriously could not keep our hands off these today.  It reminds me of The Office episode when they are eating frozen yogurt and Michael says "I can't believe this has no calories!".  :)  There are plenty of good fats in them but we only need a few servings of that a day. 

Hope you enjoy!